“Divorce is not in my vocabulary.” This was my motto before the you-know-what-hit the proverbial fan in my marriage. More than a year ago, I found out my husband of 5 ½ years was having an affair and although I was desperate for restoration with him, that’s not my story.

It wasn’t until I was well into the legal process that I could actually say the dreaded “D-word.” Divorce was literally not in my vocabulary. Divorce seemed “unclean” to me, even in our grace-filled world. Legalism was hiding internally until the mirror was held up to my own life. 50% of marriages end in divorce and actually, that’s my story.

Throughout my divorce process, shame and fear were real emotions I faced regularly. Being a naturally hands-on person, I began to wonder what I could practically do to position myself to receive God’s full restorative healing. I’ll do my part and I’ll allow God to do His.

Three of the four Gospels tell the story of a woman who suffered with bleeding for twelve years (Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5:25-34, and Luke 8:43-48). The woman isn’t named but I can feel her emotional distress and pain. Jewish law said women who were going through their menstrual bleeding were “unclean.” For any woman at that time, this would be incredibly inconvenient even just once a month. But for this woman, “unclean” was a constant label. Anything or anyone she touched had to undergo a cleansing by a priest. The text say that her doctors were baffled, and every medical procedure only left her condition worse.

Twelve years of isolation and pain brought her to desperation. She got out of bed, left her house, fought the crowds and found a way to reach and touch Jesus the Rabbi. This was not a passive healing! She took many courageous steps of faith, fighting her physical, emotional, and spiritual pain and even imposing her impurity onto Jesus by touching the hem of his robe. But her act of faith released Jesus’ healing power; she was instantly restored! The whole crowd heard her recount her story and describe the immediate recovery she’d just received.

This woman is my hero. Faith, boldness, resilience and audacious hope led her to Jesus and to reach out to receive healing. Could Jesus have healed her while she was lying in bed? Absolutely! But look what He told her once she was healed: “Daughter, your faith has made you well.”

She stepped out in faith to receive her own healing.

This was my strategy to find healing from the pain of my divorce. Out of desperation and faith I got out of bed, I left my house, I fought the crowds to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. I believe that if I could, I would receive healing.

And I did! This process of “reaching out” is what I’ve come to call Reclaiming which is nothing more than taking steps of faith and courage to put myself in a position to receive a miracle.

Reclaiming exercises are not magic. My restoration didn’t come by simply walking into a place that once held happy memories with my ex-husband to create a new and positive association. True Reclaiming would occur for me when I walked into pain so that Jesus could meet me there and take the place of my grief. That’s not magic; it is a miracle which is delivered by Jesus the Reclaimer. He is able and willing to bring that healing to anyone.

Today, divorce is in my vocabulary. It’s my story, but it’s not my identity. Through this blog, I hope to share the stories of facing my shame, fear and healing. Perhaps I can invite you to share yours as well. I am just like this woman in the Bible story. Reclaiming is my way to reach out and touch Jesus. He is bigger than my divorce. He – not the clever acts of Reclaiming – is my healer.


A Reclaimed child of God.


lizziejlindberg · January 9, 2018 at 4:04 pm

I love the connection you made with the story of the woman who was seen as unclean the woman who needed healing. God certainly could have healed her when she was in isolation, but she went to him publicly for it instead and was healed. That healing, that miracle, brought glory to Jesus and also to her because of her faith! I see the connection, I am blessed to know you and to get to hear these stories and connections you are making along this journey with your healer. You encourage me, too, to reach out and touch Jesus – to act in faith and find healing. Thank you, Ellie.

    ellieherringshaw · January 9, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    Thank you, Lizzie! I’m so glad you can see the connection. Jesus administers the healing and that looks different for different people. For me, and for the woman, we reached out for it.

Bruce Ring · January 9, 2018 at 10:05 pm

I love your spirit and look forward to watch you get refined not defined. God has a great plan for you and you will come out stronger than ever.

    ellieherringshaw · January 9, 2018 at 10:10 pm

    Bruce, thank you for saying this. I’m believing that as well – for His glory!

Deanna · January 10, 2018 at 10:25 pm

What a beautiful story! from the moment I met you at Ashland, I knew you were different- I could see Jesus in you! Thank you for shining for Him even when you were in not such a great place! I love you dear! He is our Great Healer!

itsjustal · March 23, 2018 at 4:37 am

I share your feeling of shame and fear.. its consuming and the more I look back the more I realize just how much my life was not the life for me… Divorce is still real in my life …

6 Signs You Might Need to Reclaim Something – rclaimed · April 2, 2018 at 2:56 pm

[…] 6. Feeling powerless – Facing reminders of betrayal can be excruciatingly challenging. Something was wrongfully taken away and reminders are everywhere. I often felt helpless and too weak to face the hurt; the pain was winning. Although I would feel too fragile to Reclaim something in the moment, this powerless feeling can be an indicator that this thing needed to be Reclaimed. When I remain immobilized, I am giving that place or thing greater power in my life, and this can easily turn into a victim mentality. I am not a victim. I am a victor! (Read more about positioning yourself for healing) […]

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